A Real Woman

I have been thinking and meditating on Proverbs 31 a lot recently, specifically since the passing of my Mema.  There is something fascinatingly beautiful about that passage of scripture to me.  I don't know if it is the innate home-maker spirit in me looking for self-justification and self-worth, or, more realistically, the reality that some of the most influential, most powerful, most spiritual women I have known have fallen pretty clearly in line with the character sketch laid out in this chapter.

^10-31 A good woman is hard to find,
   and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
   and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
   all her life long.

I hope with all my heart for this to describe me.  I hope to always be worthy of being treasured by my husband.  I hope never to treat him spitefully, but always generously.

She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
   and enjoys knitting and sewing.

The idea of providing for my family something that I have made with my own hands delights me. 

She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
   and brings back exotic surprises.

I like to read this line as, "She experiments with weird ingredients in the kitchen and serves cheeses whose names you cannot pronounce."

She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast
   for her family and organizing her day.

Yep.  While this is a part of my life, I can only hope one day to do it with the kind of hospitality and generosity of my Mema.

She looks over a field and buys it,
   then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.

While marriage is teamwork, I also strive to have the kind of independence that gives me the boldness to make well-thought-out decisions for the benefit of my family.  And I'm dreaming of the day when the gardening part is a realistic option.

First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
   rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
   is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.

I have to work at the "eager" part.  I find that I have to remind myself that the worth is more than monetary.  My work is significant, both for the lives of the students with whom I come into contact, and for my family so that I can help provide for their needs.

She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
   diligent in homemaking.

I'm trying to be.

She's quick to assist anyone in need,
   reaches out to help the poor.

Marriage has been the biggest catalyst for hospitality and generosity for me.  I love that our home is a place of ministry where we can entertain, comfort, feed, counsel.

She doesn't worry about her family when it snows;
   their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
   and dresses in colorful linens and silks.

Okay, so us Floridians don't have to worry too much about the snow, but I do attempt to stay on top of buttons that need reattaching, hems that need repairing, and old clothes that need repurposing into new clothes.

Her husband is greatly respected
   when he deliberates with the city fathers.

While my husband would be well-respected without me, I certainly hope that I always am an additional cause for respect, rather than shame, to be brought upon him.

She designs gowns and sells them,
   brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
   and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.

One day, I will sell my wares.  For now, I will attempt to face each day with a smile.

When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
   and she always says it kindly.

Being an introvert, this comes a bit more naturally to me.  In general, I try to make my words worth-while.  I try to make sure they matter.  That if someone hears something I said, it was because it had value.  I live by the "economy of language" rule: why say in eleven words what can be said in four?

She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
   and keeps them all busy and productive.

I will not micromanage, but I will keep my household active in the fulfillment of responsibilities.  My daughter will be self-sufficient.  She will not rely on others to complete tasks for which she is capable of completing.

Her children respect and bless her;
   her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things,
   but you've outclassed them all!"

While this statement is lovely, I adore it in the New King James version: Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: "Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all."

Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
   The woman to be admired and praised
   is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
   Festoon her life with praises! 

Festoon?  Really, Message translation?  Who says "festoon"?