Pebble Number Two

Yes, it's a school night and I should be packing lunches and showering and a million other things.  But I finally got the itch to sit down and write about Pebble Number Two.

My due date was Friday, August 10.  On Tuesday, August 7, I went to see the doctor for what I was hoping was the last time.  At that point, I had already had several on-again, off-again days of mild contractions.  (In fact, I really thought on Aubrey's birthday, July 28, that I wasn't going to make it through the day without heading to the hospital.)  At that doctor's appointment, I was informed that I was already dilated 4cm.  My doctor also stripped the membranes, which will often get labor started naturally without an induction.  Because of my gestational diabetes (yes, this was round two), the doctors wanted Owen out by my due date so that he didn't have any extra time to keep on growing bigger and bigger.  I was told to wake up at 4:00AM on Thursday, call L&D, and tell them that I was instructed to come in if there was space for me.  My doctor said that either I would already be in labor by then, or they would plan on getting me started when I got there.   I wasn't in labor, but they told me to come on in anyway.  From this point forward, my experience was incredibly similar to my experience with Aubrey, other than the fact that my water had not yet broken. 

We went in, I got put on antibiotics and IV fluids, and eventually a really slow drip of Pitocin.  The plan was that the doctor (who, by the way, had just returned from the London Olympics) was going to come in around lunch time to break my water.  The nurse wisely convinced me to go ahead and get my epidural before that point because, she said, labor could progress very quickly after that.  (Have I mentioned lately how fantastic the L&D nursing staff is?)  After a few hours of moderate contractions, the anesthesiologist came to put in the epidural.  The worst part of that experience had nothing to do with the needle/injection, but rather the horribly uncomfortable position I had to sit in to have it put in.  I had to lean over, curling my back out as much as possible.  For the average person, this is not a big deal, but keep in mind, I was full-term pregnant with a baby who was in the larger size range.  There was not much leaning and curling room!  I had to hold that position, through a couple rounds of contractions, for what seemed like eternity.  I felt as though my ribs were being crushed the whole time!  But that experience ended, and it was smooth-sailing from then on. 

Just before 4:00, the nurse kept asking me questions about the level of pressure I was feeling.  I replied, telling her that I felt a little, but not a lot.  When she checked me, she kept repeating, "Are you sure you're not feeling anything?!"  Apparently this baby was ready to make his debut! While she was calling the doctor in, she had me start pushing a little, and basically by the time the doctor had his gloves on, we were having a baby!  He was literally out in 5 minutes.  My 9lb baby boy came into this world like it was nothing!

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Immediately, Aubrey became the loving big sister.  She is so sweet with Owen, always hugging and kissing him.  She was also such a trooper while Rob and I were at the hospital.  It helped, I'm sure, that Grandma and Grandpa were here spoiling her a little!  She came to visit while I was in labor, and she happily sat in my bed and ate all my ice chips.  When she came back after he was born, all she wanted to do was hold him.  She has learned how to be gentle with him.  She talks to him and tells him he's so cute.  I pray that she will always love him and take good care of him, even as they grow up.

Owen is an angel baby.  As far as infants go, he is so well-behaved.  He has dimples that will melt your heart, and gurgles and coos that make it impossible not to smile.  I am unbelievably blessed to have such a sweet little boy who I know will grow up to be an amazing young man.

Choices

I tend to stay far away from political issues, especially on social media.  As a disclaimer, I am going to address a political issue, yet I am not making a particular statement in favor of one side of the issue or the other.  Rather, I have trouble with both sides of the issue, which is what I wish to make clear.  That being said, here it is:

School choice.
One side of the issue says that students (and their families) should have the freedom to choose which school is the best fit for them.  This argument is particularly true in the case of students who, due to socioeconomic status, are zoned for poor-performing schools, and are therefore "doomed" educationally.  Unions are made out to be the enemies of this idea because they support teachers "rather than" students. 

The other side of the issue points out that school choice, specifically a voucher system, does nothing to help improve the poor performing schools, and furthermore, may actually perpetuate their under-performance. 

So which side is right?  Both of them.  Yes, students should have the right to a quality education, regardless of where they live.  However, taking students out of failing schools doesn't do anything to improve the failing schools.  And if students are able to leave those schools, what motivation is there to improve the schools?

If we allow school choice, how do we get the kids to their chosen school?  By bus?  How would that work if kids can go anywhere they want?  We would have buses criss-crossing the county all day.  Or, more likely, everyone would be headed to the top school in the county, causing immediate overcrowding at that location, which is the next major problem.  Would parents be expected to transport their own children to their chosen school?  If we are talking about low socioeconomic students, that probably isn't an option for most of them.

Okay, so let's say we ditch the school choice idea and focus our efforts on improving failing schools.  How do we do that?  The logical sounding response is that we take some of the best teachers and put them in the low performing schools.  Gee, what a nice reward for a job well done: "You've done so well in your teaching career, we have decided to relocate you to a failing school where you will have limited resources and support.  Congratulations!"  Great teachers are the first step, but there are many more things these school need.  And the great teachers shouldn't feel like they are being punished by being relocated there.  An incredible level of support and resources needs to be poured into those schools, along with the great teachers.

How do we solve this problem?  How do we allow students to receive a quality education while working toward improving failing schools without punishing teachers?  I do not have the answers.  I do know funding for education must increase.  (On a related note, think of that when you hear about anyone cutting taxes.)  Whichever side of the "school choice" issue you support, please be sure to educate yourself on the whole issue.  There are faults on both sides, and issues are never as simple as one side will make it seem.

End of my rant.  That is all.

Play/Reading Tent

Okay, so several of you have asked about the tent that I made for Aubrey.  Here's the tutorial I looked at to get my ideas together.  I also have a sewing pattern that I used for reference, but both the tutorial and the pattern were way more complicated than necessary, so I thought I would explain as simply as possible how to make one of these tents. (Note: my tent is a SIMPLIFIED version of what is shown on the tutorial.  I did not add windows or pockets or anything else.  Mine is similar to the FIRST picture in the tutorial, minus the pockets, and that was because I didn't want to encourage Aubrey to pull on the tent in any way, as it is attached to our ceiling.)

Materials:
sewing machine (I'm assuming you already knew that)
two coordinating twin size flat sheets
hula hoop (the bigger, the better... 36" or 38" is good)
a bunch of ribbon, some narrow (an inch or less) some wide... you probably want to buy the whole spool, not by the yard  (check the tutorial if you want more specific measurements)
*don't forget thread for your machine

Instructions:
I am going to say this as simply as I can, rather than in real step-by-step format.  (Read this, then look at the tutorial link above.)  The basic idea is you will use the long side of one sheet to circle the hula hoop.  However, one sheet by itself is not long enough, so you have to use some of the other sheet to lengthen it.  Depending on the size of the hula hoop you get, the length that you add will be different.  I used a 36" hula hoop, so I needed to add 20" onto my sheet.  I'll refer to this length so you can understand what I'm talking about, but be sure to measure your hula hoop first before you cut anything.  First of all, whatever length you need to add, you will split it in half and add one part to one end of the sheet and the other part to the other end.  This is so you will have matching "ends" that will become the doors or opening part of your tent.  So for mine, I cut two 10" pieces and added one to each end of the whole sheet.  (Note: This length made my tent doors meet, but you could also do a few extra inches to make the doors overlap a bit at the top of the opening.  This would probably look a bit nicer.)

Don't you love my amazing illustrations?

BEFORE YOU SEW THEM TOGETHER, you will want to plan out where to add some ribbon to make the tie-backs for your tent doors.  Pick a side of your sheet that will ultimately be the top of the tent (where it will connect around the hula hoop).  Measure about 20" down from that side on each end of the sheet and make a little mark. You will add the ribbon at this mark WHILE you are sewing the two parts of the sheet together.  I used 80" of ribbon for each side.  Find the mid-point and put it in between the two pieces of sheet that you are about to sew together, so when you finish you will have 40" hanging out on the front and on the back of the fabric.  (Be sure to repeat on the other end of the sheet.)

After you have added the two additional pieces to the length of your sheet (with the ribbon included in the seam), you should have basically the right length to circle your hoop.  In case this statement isn't obvious, you will also want to hem your new ends.  Depending on how you did your cuts, you may only have one side that needs to be hemmed... you probably used the existing hem of the sheet on the other side.  After hemming, take a nice, deep breath!  The "wall" of your tent is complete! 

This is what the tie-backs will look like when in use.

Now for the top:

Okay, the concept is you will cut several identical triangles (well, not technically triangles, as one edge has a slight curve) and attach them all together to make a circle/cone shape for the top of your tent.  PLEASE FOLLOW THE TUTORIAL ON HOW TO CUT OUT THE TRIANGLES!  Just remember to consider the size of hoop you have.  After you have your triangles cut out (mine had six, but I'm not sure if that's always true), sew HALF of them together to make one half of the circle.  Sew the other half of the triangles together to make the other half of the circle.  Now attach some of the narrower ribbon in the center of one half, so that you can hang the tent from the ceiling when you are done.  The ribbon will be folded in half, with the fold sticking out a bit on the inside of the tent (or the "wrong" side of your fabric).  This makes a little loop inside the tent where you could hang something cute, if you wanted.  The long ends will hang outside of the tent at the very top.  (More on how to hang it in a minute.)  Okay, sew the two halves of your circle together, making sure to keep the ribbon in the right place. 

Now you need a way to attach the circle to the hoop.  More ribbon.  Make four strips of ribbon (long enough that you can comfortably tie each one around the hoop, with an inch or two extra for sewing).  Put a mark in four evenly spaced locations on the circle where you will attach the ribbon.  At each of these marks, you will take one piece of ribbon, fold it in half, and (similar to the ribbon in the center of the circle) the folded part will stick out one side of the fabric (the "right" side, or the outside of the tent) while the two ends of the ribbon will stick out the other side (the "wrong" side, or the inside of the tent).  Pin each of the ribbons in place.

This shows how the four ribbons will be used to attach the hoop.  One of mine happens to show where the door opening is.  If you don't want yours to show, don't center it at the door.  But you can see here there is a little tab or loop that sticks out the top of the tent, and the loose ends are on the inside where they will tie on to the hoop.

Now comes the (almost) final step: attach the "wall" to the top.  Pin first (if you wish), then sew the length of the sheet around the circle.  Make sure the four ribbons stay in the right place (loops to the outside, loose ends to the inside of the tent).  When you come to the end of your sheet, it should match up with where you started on the other end so that you have completely encircled the top of the tent. 

Actual final step: tie the hula hoop on the inside using the four ribbons, then hang tent from ceiling. 

A note on hanging: a medium to large cup hook in your ceiling works great with minimal damage (meaning only a screw hole).  A dry-wall anchor is a good idea to use to keep it from pulling out.  I tried a small hook in the ceiling first, but the screw part isn't big enough to hold a lot of weight and it pulled out of the ceiling within a day or two.  Also, I wanted to be able to take my tent down easily WITHOUT having to use a step ladder to reach the ceiling.  To make this possible, I made a completely separate loop of ribbon and hung it from the cup hook.  Then on the ribbon that is actually attached to the tent, I added Velcro instead of tying a loop.  Now I can attach the Velcro loop through the loop that is hanging from the ceiling, and it is at a height that allows me to reach it.  (I didn't mention any measurements here because all of this depends on your ceiling height, as well as your own height!) 

I hope this made a little bit of sense and that my super-basic diagrams helped you to understand what the heck is going on.  As I mentioned, please read through the actual tutorial that I linked to at the top of this post.  She describes all of the steps with much greater detail.  I just found myself having to read hers multiple times before I understood what she was talking about, so hopefully what I have written will help you save some time there.  Let me know if you need clarification!  Happy sewing!

Potty Training Boot Camp

Earlier this week, a friend pinned several links on Pinterest about potty training, specifically the idea of "potty training in just one day."  The concept sounded outrageous, so naturally, I had to read the articles.  First of all, it isn't necessarily what it sounds like.  The idea is that you devote one entire day to the potty training process as sort of a kick-off for your kid.  It certainly doesn't mean you're done by that evening.  This is why I have dubbed it "boot camp."  You spend one day (or more) really intensely focused on the goal at hand, and, theoretically, it should go a long way toward developing proper habits.  As we are actually HOME this week (finally), I decided now was as good a time as any to kick it up a notch, in terms of potty training.  I am so thankful I have this time at home with Aubrey over the summer so we do have the opportunity to focus on developmental issues like this that would otherwise be much more challenging if she remained in childcare for the summer.  And my goal is to send her back to childcare in August WITHOUT diapers, or at least only for nap time, if necessary at that time.  So here's how our first day of Potty Training Boot Camp went:

Taking advice from several articles that I read (including this one and this one), I gathered the following supplies: cotton training pants, towels, M&Ms, salty and sweet snacks, Crystal Light, stickers, an extra-large Post-It note, board books, and my iPad (loaded with several preschool apps).  Several articles recommended going bare-bottomed all day, but I opted to make a really big deal out of the "big girl underwear" (training pants) and see how it went using those.  My uber-modest child also doesn't enjoy being undressed for more than a few minutes at a time, so I wasn't so sure the no-pants option would go over very well.  Turns out this decision worked for us, but obviously I think it's a personality thing.  The second recommendation that I read from several sources was the idea of setting a timer for a set interval and having your child go sit on the potty every time the timer went off.  I personally believe this might be more fitting the younger the child is (and less experienced with the potty), but since Aubrey is nearly two and is already familiar with going potty, I skipped the timer.  After she found out there were rewards involved, it didn't take much prompting to get her in there anyway!  So here's how the day went:  I had told Aubrey yesterday (in a very overly-excited tone, of course) that today was going to be "special potty day" and we would have no more diapers, so when she woke up, I reminded her and told her she got to wear "big girl underwear" today.  After putting on said article of clothing, along with a t-shirt, we had a normal breakfast routine.  After a reasonable amount of time, we took a family trip into the bathroom where I had already posted the extra-large Post-It note on the wall at toddler height.  I told her if she went pee-pee in the potty, she would get an M&M and she would get to put a sticker on the wall.  Her eyes lit up upon hearing "M&M," as childcare has exposed her to these sweet treats (unlike home where she doesn't really get sugary foods).  After this first trip to the potty being a (relative) success, it was only minutes before she wanted to try again, also with successful results!  Our day continued as usual, with a combination of Aubrey requesting to go to the potty and me reminding/telling her to go potty.  If she sat without "going," a simple reminder of the rewards usually prompted the desired results.  I spent the morning keeping her thirsty with the salty and sweet snacks (raisins and Goldfish, mostly) and pumping her full of liquids (Crystal Light from "Mommy's cup", in our case, because I'm anti-sugary drinks, and she also thought it was the best thing ever).  The books and iPad came in handy when "going" took some time.  And I'm happy to say we really didn't need the towels much.  We only had two accidents all day, and I take the blame for the first one because we switched activities without going potty in between.  (I couldn't have planned a better scenario for an accident though... we were outside and she was standing barefoot in the grass!)  I am so pleased with how today went.  I am pretty exhausted from having to stay focused all day (okay, being 34 weeks pregnant probably has something to do with the exhaustion, as well), but I could not have asked for better results for our first shot at ditching the diapers.

A few notes:
-M&M's worked for us because she DOES NOT get these kind of treats otherwise (other than occasionally at childcare).
-Same deal with Crystal Light.  Aubrey only drinks milk and water, with the occasional breakfast smoothie, so this was a real treat for her.
-I believe part of our success is due to Aubrey's good communication skills.  She is VERY verbal and understands the majority of what I say to her, so explaining what I wanted her to do and what she would get in return really worked well.  Had we tried this several months ago, I don't know that we would have gotten such good results.  Also, as I mentioned, she has been working on going potty for some time now, so this is not a foreign concept.  I can't see doing this kind of thing as your very first introduction to the potty.
-We are still using Pull-Ups for nap time and night time.  Some people believe in "ditch the diapers and never look back," but that didn't seem realistic for us.  I'm cutting back her liquid intake for the last hour before sleep to see if I can help her learn not to wet herself, but if that part takes some time, I'm okay with that.
-One of the articles I read mentioned that the parent needs to "maintain possession" of whatever treat or reward is being offered.  I like this idea and completely agree.  The immediate reward was ONE M&M and ONE sticker.  In addition, she got to use the iPad for a period of time after a successful trip to the potty, but there always came a time when I said, "Okay, all done.  Let's play with a different toy."  If you just flat out GIVE your child something (new toy, etc.) for a successful trip to the potty, you no longer have control of the motivation.
-The stickers were a nice addition to the edible treat because they are "permanent."  Aubrey and I excitedly counted them at the end of the day (13!) and she seemed to be proud of herself.

Work or Love?

I read an article yesterday that my friend Katie posted from the Huffington Post.  In it, the author, a mother of three young children, articulated why she so despises the countless times that people in public places will, in one form or another, tell her to “Carpe Diem,” or cherish the time that she has with her small children.  She makes the point that we can’t actually cherish every single moment of every single day (if we try to, we will drive ourselves nuts), but rather we can look for certain brief moments each day that are “cherishable.” 

In the way that this woman hates being told to “Carpe Diem,” I hate hearing the quote, “Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.”  This is pure crap.  I can accept that there probably are, somewhere in the world, those unbearably positive, optimistic individuals, who may actually feel this way about their jobs, but for the vast majority of us who don’t live with our head in the clouds, a job is still a job.  Work is still work.  Even if you love it. 

I am a teacher.  I know that this is the job that best fits my skill set.  As a Christian, I know that this is the place where God has called me to be for this season of my life.  It is a job that is fulfilling and rewarding.  I leave each day feeling like I’ve actually accomplished something (not always as much as I would have liked, but at least something).  Yet, it is still work.  Hard work, at that.  Anything worth doing is hard, at least at certain points or in certain ways.  It is the kind of hard that makes me go home in tears some days.  It is the kind of hard that keeps me up some nights.  It is the kind of hard that makes me question whether or not I am doing it well enough.  Despite all of this, I still know it is the job that I am supposed to be doing and that I am designed to do.  It is still fulfilling and rewarding.  Yet I struggle to say, “I love teaching.”  So when I hear people say, “Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life,” I wonder several things: Why don’t I feel this way?  Is it because I don’t love teaching?  Why don’t I love teaching?  If I don’t love teaching, knowing that’s where I’m supposed to be, what do I love?  Do I love anything?  I don’t think I love anything!  At least, not in that kind of way.  Not in the “do this and it will make you enough money to live off of but still not feel like work” kind of way.  I love my family, but that’s not exactly a “thing” or a “job.”  Those are people.  And even if we’re talking about the job of being a mom and raising a family, there again I find myself back at the point that the author of the “Carpe Diem” article mentioned, which is that parenting is HARD WORK.  It will still feel like work, even if you love it.  So, why do I have such a hard time saying, “I love teaching”?  I was unbearably encouraged in the “Carpe Diem” article to read a quote from an author that was being interviewed.  He was asked, “Do you love writing?”  He answered, “No.  But I love having written.”  I don’t know that I ever would have thought to express it that way, but I think this fits how I feel.  Do I love teaching?  Not always.  But I do love having taught.  I love the result, the product, the change, the impact.  Do I love the process?  Not usually.  I hate getting up in the mornings.  I hate having to be to work on time.  I hate when lessons don’t go as planned or students don’t behave as expected.  Am I pretty decent at managing these issues?  Sure.  Does that make it “easy” or “non-work-like”?  No!  But it sure feels worth it when the end of a science lesson about the elements on the periodic table is cut short and the kids shout out, “Oh man!  We were just getting to the good part!”  (Are you kidding me?  Elements?  That’s what gets you going?)  Or when I’m reading an incredibly well-written book to the class, and they moan at the end of a chapter, “Oh please read just one more!”  This I love.  This is what I drag myself out of bed for.  Do I love teaching?  No.  But I love having taught.